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well im currently trying to go on a diet of just fruits and grains. Im only having ayougart for lunch and just rice for supper no junk food whatsoever. Im trying to fit in some time with the kids when i can and my hubby too its very hard trying to spread myself so thin with everyone and to not have me time but oh well thats life i guess. im currently enrolled at siast for ged prep coarse. i dont know whats gonna happen in my future all i know is i have to find a job daycare and get my man off his butt too hopefully it all works out and with everyone i know bing sick it dont help either but ill see what happens.
Name: Shana Sheepskin 
Location: what to do?
Posted: 2010-08-28 15:12:39
Obviously i still care about ex its only been 6 days. I dont hate him, i dont wish him anything but happiness in life. When i first met him he was eccentric and interesting and physically appealing. I think over time the fantasy has worn down and what i liked in the beginning i no longer like. he has said similar about me, that i have changed and he dosent like it. Yes ive changed, i feel like i have become less fantastical and more real. I appreciate and admire anyone who is a dreamer and a person willing to engage the metaphysical world. I certainly do have strong interests in this area but not to the extent it will rule my life. for some this means im not hardcore enough or spiritual, but for me it means im totally aware and it gives me an ability to function in the world. Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to get on with life when you are constantly "searching for the one, waiting for destiny to present an opportunity to you, listening to subliminal messages, examining the deeper meaning of everything. Dont get me wrong i have done these things and may still do them however not in a way that interferes. I believe there is the one and that if that dosent work out there will be another one... i do believe destiny presents opportunities and i think you also should create your own through hardwork and determination, i believe there are subliminal messages given everyday, but nothing i need to think about i think ill just get it. and i do like to think deeply but i also like to let tommorow worry about itself and just be here now at times. sometimes when a person says no it just means no, not that they are obsessive, depressive, defiant, or obnoxious, or better yet trying to hurt you. As i have embraced the here and now earthly world more my Ex embraced the higher worlds more and we could no longer exist in one place together. neither world is better then the other just different, for what i want to achieve right now i need to be grounded and earth bound.
Name: Victoria Toth
Location: Study
Posted: 2010-08-28 09:48:01
While back at my place Ex decided to fall asleep on my lounge and again snore loudly until he got a phone call and went upstairs. i went up some time latter to hear him organise a date with a girl and offer to pay. Found this actually quite rude, considering he had sponged off my finances for the past four years to a large extent (note when he packed his stuff it could fit into two boxes) which gives an indication of just how much i had bought in the 4 years. Of course i was upset as you would expect to hear he was dating however when i found out who with that changed. He is friends with a girl who has no sexual interest in him and because of his paranoia he insists that she is interested. I think the reality is that some years ago his ex wife left him for another man and he has been kind of wanting to get back at her ever since and thought that he might do that with me so concocted a story that he was interested in some girl (the one not interested) and promptly moved out. after a week finally he will move his shit out... hurrah
Name: Victoria Toth
Location: Home
Posted: 2010-08-28 09:31:09
Its Day 6 of breakup- generally doing well but was a tough day. Ex came over however was late and unreliable... went to coast to pick up a caravan i bought on ebay. This was a lovely kind gesture, unfortunatly spoiled by childish antics like making fun of the guy who i bought the caravan from which was really uneccesary because he was very helpful and kind. Coming back from coast Ex was acting weird, very sleepy, but as usual would not admit it. I suspect he has been taking drugs and was coming down... "or on the nod??" either way eventually i convinced him to pull over and he promptly fell asleep in about 2 minutes snoring loudly 15 mins later he woke up and said oh i wasnt really tired just woozy- um how about just admiting your drugfucked. I was hoping the day might bring closure for us with the relationship however not to be.
Name: Victoria Toth
Location: Home
Posted: 2010-08-28 09:24:18
The Ex came over and assisted me to tow a caravan from the coast...
Name: Victoria Toth
Location: Home
Posted: 2010-08-28 09:17:04
been in GDC for only an hour today, had meeting for an hour about a potential job and spent the morning clearing up flood damage in my house, happy days.
Name: Mal Hubert
Location: Fiona's
Posted: 2010-08-26 13:46:49
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